My friend died last week. Was she my best friend? No. Was she someone I saw once a month or talked to once a week? No. Did I know the ins and outs of her life? No.
The fact is...My friend died last week.
I spoke at the service celebrating her life, again not because I knew her the best or was closest to her, but because I could do it without completely breaking down and in knowing her for almost 10 years, I could give a pretty accurate look at the beautiful person that God created in her. It was a blessing and a privilege to speak about her on that day!
Thinking about it today makes me wonder who considers me a friend and what would they say about me at my funeral. I am 43 years old and I have run across a lot of people over all of those years. I still stay in touch with people from when I was a kid (thanks to social media) and I have met new people in the past week. What would all of these people say about me at my funeral?
The thought scares me a little bit but it makes me take a deeper look into the person that I want to be.
I know that when someone dies most people show respect and share all of the great, funny and inspiring stories about the deceased, right? We talk about how giving they were, how funny or sweet they were, how much they loved their family and everyone they met just adored them, right?
But, let's just say there are some skeletons, mistakes, character flaws or "black marks" in that persons life…those are probably going to come to the surface at some point too, right? Perhaps behind closed doors or on back patios, but none the less...
My point? I woke up today saying that I want to be remembered differently starting TODAY! I want to be better! I want to be a better mother, a better wife, a better sister, aunt, cousin, neighbor, friend and daughter of the Lord…TODAY!
I am striving for better. Not perfect and not better than you or the girl next door, but better than me yesterday! If I wake up everyday with that mind set and that goal, then I'm guaranteed victory, correct?
I have made so many mistakes along the way. I have so many regrets and things that I wish that I could do over or take back. I have hurt people that I deeply love and care about with my harsh words or selfish actions. I have pushed people away and even with 1,000 "I'm sorry's" I haven't gotten some of those people back. I have messed up more times than I could ever count or even remember. I'm so thankful that God truly forgives and truly forgets all of those things, good thing that audience of ONE embraces me with His grace!
However, humans don't make it so easy and when we screw up or hurt someone or are just plain cranky and take it out on the wrong person, that may be how that person remembers us on our final day! UGH!! I do not want that. "the last time I saw Jen Morgan she was rushing through the aisle at Walgreens, barely smiled at me and acted as if she didn't even know me"….I do not want that! I know we all have bad days, but come on! I realize that we are not going to be friends with every single person and that all relationships vary on so many levels, but as I tell my kids, you don't have to be friends with everyone, but be friendly to everyone! What kind of example am I in that statement?
I think to be better every day, I am going to act as if it's the last time people are seeing me or talking to me. Yes, I know that all of my close friends that are reading this are going to hold me to a higher standard and call me out on this day in and day out! Good…bring it on! Challenge me to be better! I'm ready for it!
I claim Jesus as my Savior and the Holy Spirit as my guide, then I must try to live it daily. When I fail and I fall down, I will be better tomorrow! If I don't get tomorrow then the people around me will know that I died trying! That's how I want to be remembered and thought of!
My friend died last week. She didn't know it was her final day, but I'm pretty sure that the last words she spoke were probably loving, sweet and kind…that's just who she was and what a great way to be remembered!
I want that and I want to be better TODAY! So here goes…
Want to join me?
Philippians 4:4-5 "Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again - rejoice! Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do."
Friday, April 25, 2014
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
Beautiful in HIM!
I'm so pale, I have got to lose 10 pounds before summer, I'm having a bad hair day, I don't have anything to wear, I look old…the list goes on and on. Does this sound familiar? Over analyzing myself and finding personal flaws is something I do on a fairly regular basis, but not nearly as much as I did in the past.
Actually, what I used to do was get so caught up in how I looked on the outside, that I completely forgot to examine the person I was becoming on the inside. Honestly, there was a time that I stopped criticizing myself and went the other way. I was in complete adoration of myself and the way I looked. I became extremely caught up in having the perfect tanned, skinny, body and spending loads of money on clothes that I clearly could not afford just so I could keep playing the starring role in a big production called "ME"! Everyone look at ME! Like ME, be jealous of ME! ME ME ME! Ugh…it's so sad to reflect on that person! The old ME!
This thing that was ME…It's called vanity and it is a very dangerous place to be! Looking "fabulous" doesn't necessarily seem to be evil or a danger to us or to others, but that mentality makes it a perfect playground for the devil! Actually vanity is the ideal "outfit" that we begin to wear when we become so obsessed with our outer beauty and start to neglect what's happening on the inside. It's like a very creative Halloween costume. Vanity will tend to fool the people around us because they also begin to get caught up in our clothes, hair, skin, weight that they don't even care who we are on the inside. We look great, they look great and it's fun and contagious!
Now, I will make one thing crystal clear with you upfront...I like fashion, I like pretty clothes and shoes, jewelry and fun hair styles. I'm a bit of a girly girl, what can I say? I take pride in how I look (usually) when I walk out the door and most days I don't leave the house without at least a little bit of makeup to cover the acne or freckles! But, that's not what I'm talking about here. I'm talking about the fine line between being proud of how you look and making it so consuming that it's encompassing who you ARE as an individual. Forgetting about the beautiful God given traits of your personality that you were blessed with at birth and that have made you the woman He wants you to be!
Who I WAS when I thought I was this amazing woman floating through my life, was a big, hot, tan, well dressed mess! I made my friends laugh, I was sarcastic and fun. I was the "life of the party" at times and I was loving every minute of it. I was completely caught up in it. I was using all of the these actions and props to cover up the emptiness in my soul. I was seeking attention for all of the wrong reasons and it began to destroy my life. I now know that low self esteem from my younger years played a big role in my need for attention and my need for always looking a certain way, but whatever the reason is for starting, it spiraled quickly and vanity became more of a God to me than God himself!
The really scary part is how quickly and quietly it can consume us. We are "good, nice, Christian people" so that's all that matters, right? We're not hurting anyone, are we? You may not have these same personality traits as I have, but fill in the blanks with your own and you'll understand what I'm getting at.
Now…ask yourself this, day in and day out, how many times do you look in the mirror? How often are you thinking about what to wear or what not to eat because of weight gain? How much money is being spent on healthcare products, makeup, creams, lotions, botox, etc.? I'll answer those for you…ALOT! We think about all of that ALOT! And the reason it doesn't look dangerous is because people like looking at "pretty". Our friends, our husbands, boyfriends, strangers, we all like looking at "pretty"! That is why I believe vanity can be a very quiet but dangerous sin and if we don't keep it in check, it can and will consume you too! We lose sight of what kind of beauty should be at the center of our lives and we lose sight on how to share that with others. We can talk about plastic surgery, fashion and working out all day long, but our faith and our true beauty in Christ become taboo topics. Therein lies the danger of vanity! And you don't think our daughters will follow these footsteps? Think again!
1 Peter 3:3-4
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.
Over the past couple of years, my spiritual life began to take a turn and I started to hear God tell me I was beautiful and I even started to believe Him. I would hear Him whisper things to me about my giving, generous and thoughtful traits. He reassures me about the fact that I truly care about my friends and want to help them and be there for them when they need me. I began to believe God when He told me that if I shared some of my stories with other women, that they might listen and hear Him too and start to see their true beauty regardless of a painful past! Each day, I hear Him tell me new things about myself and how I've improved and how I continue to grow and change in HIM with every prayer and every genuine action of support or love to others. He's allowing the Holy Spirit to guide me daily and as I allow it too, I realize that's what makes me a gorgeous daughter of The Lord. I never realized that before.
By starting my mornings in prayer and by asking for His guidance in all circumstances, He is opening my eyes to the real "pretty" in me even when I make huge mistakes! He shows me His grace and love when I'm wearing clothes that don't fit quite right or when my hair looks messy and when the scale is not smiling back at me! He loves me no matter what, all the time! Knowing that I will continue to fall and make those mistakes every day, regardless of how I look doing it, is o.k. with Him and it's o.k. with me, now, too.
We are His daughters and we are sisters in Christ, let's embrace that and recognize the stunning women we are on the inside. Compliment a woman's laugh or her kind, gentle voice and her tenderness before you talk about her fantastic new hair color. Encourage her to continue being a great listener, an amazing cook and a great mom. Tell her that you admire her work ethic, her strength and her love of the Lord before you compliment her shoes!
I am seeing that the parts of my personality that make me who I am have not changed really either, but now I just see that they are not being used to mask pain any longer. God created me with a sense of humor and a witty, sarcastic side (that I sometimes need to apologize for), a fun loving, outgoing person who happens to like to look fashionable and put together most of the time. You see, the fashion, the outer beauty, even getting the laughs, are no longer my crutch because I've realized that none of this is about ME! It's about who HE is in me and that is 100% pure beauty that will last through the ages!
Actually, what I used to do was get so caught up in how I looked on the outside, that I completely forgot to examine the person I was becoming on the inside. Honestly, there was a time that I stopped criticizing myself and went the other way. I was in complete adoration of myself and the way I looked. I became extremely caught up in having the perfect tanned, skinny, body and spending loads of money on clothes that I clearly could not afford just so I could keep playing the starring role in a big production called "ME"! Everyone look at ME! Like ME, be jealous of ME! ME ME ME! Ugh…it's so sad to reflect on that person! The old ME!
This thing that was ME…It's called vanity and it is a very dangerous place to be! Looking "fabulous" doesn't necessarily seem to be evil or a danger to us or to others, but that mentality makes it a perfect playground for the devil! Actually vanity is the ideal "outfit" that we begin to wear when we become so obsessed with our outer beauty and start to neglect what's happening on the inside. It's like a very creative Halloween costume. Vanity will tend to fool the people around us because they also begin to get caught up in our clothes, hair, skin, weight that they don't even care who we are on the inside. We look great, they look great and it's fun and contagious!
Now, I will make one thing crystal clear with you upfront...I like fashion, I like pretty clothes and shoes, jewelry and fun hair styles. I'm a bit of a girly girl, what can I say? I take pride in how I look (usually) when I walk out the door and most days I don't leave the house without at least a little bit of makeup to cover the acne or freckles! But, that's not what I'm talking about here. I'm talking about the fine line between being proud of how you look and making it so consuming that it's encompassing who you ARE as an individual. Forgetting about the beautiful God given traits of your personality that you were blessed with at birth and that have made you the woman He wants you to be!
Who I WAS when I thought I was this amazing woman floating through my life, was a big, hot, tan, well dressed mess! I made my friends laugh, I was sarcastic and fun. I was the "life of the party" at times and I was loving every minute of it. I was completely caught up in it. I was using all of the these actions and props to cover up the emptiness in my soul. I was seeking attention for all of the wrong reasons and it began to destroy my life. I now know that low self esteem from my younger years played a big role in my need for attention and my need for always looking a certain way, but whatever the reason is for starting, it spiraled quickly and vanity became more of a God to me than God himself!
The really scary part is how quickly and quietly it can consume us. We are "good, nice, Christian people" so that's all that matters, right? We're not hurting anyone, are we? You may not have these same personality traits as I have, but fill in the blanks with your own and you'll understand what I'm getting at.
Now…ask yourself this, day in and day out, how many times do you look in the mirror? How often are you thinking about what to wear or what not to eat because of weight gain? How much money is being spent on healthcare products, makeup, creams, lotions, botox, etc.? I'll answer those for you…ALOT! We think about all of that ALOT! And the reason it doesn't look dangerous is because people like looking at "pretty". Our friends, our husbands, boyfriends, strangers, we all like looking at "pretty"! That is why I believe vanity can be a very quiet but dangerous sin and if we don't keep it in check, it can and will consume you too! We lose sight of what kind of beauty should be at the center of our lives and we lose sight on how to share that with others. We can talk about plastic surgery, fashion and working out all day long, but our faith and our true beauty in Christ become taboo topics. Therein lies the danger of vanity! And you don't think our daughters will follow these footsteps? Think again!
1 Peter 3:3-4
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.
Over the past couple of years, my spiritual life began to take a turn and I started to hear God tell me I was beautiful and I even started to believe Him. I would hear Him whisper things to me about my giving, generous and thoughtful traits. He reassures me about the fact that I truly care about my friends and want to help them and be there for them when they need me. I began to believe God when He told me that if I shared some of my stories with other women, that they might listen and hear Him too and start to see their true beauty regardless of a painful past! Each day, I hear Him tell me new things about myself and how I've improved and how I continue to grow and change in HIM with every prayer and every genuine action of support or love to others. He's allowing the Holy Spirit to guide me daily and as I allow it too, I realize that's what makes me a gorgeous daughter of The Lord. I never realized that before.
By starting my mornings in prayer and by asking for His guidance in all circumstances, He is opening my eyes to the real "pretty" in me even when I make huge mistakes! He shows me His grace and love when I'm wearing clothes that don't fit quite right or when my hair looks messy and when the scale is not smiling back at me! He loves me no matter what, all the time! Knowing that I will continue to fall and make those mistakes every day, regardless of how I look doing it, is o.k. with Him and it's o.k. with me, now, too.
We are His daughters and we are sisters in Christ, let's embrace that and recognize the stunning women we are on the inside. Compliment a woman's laugh or her kind, gentle voice and her tenderness before you talk about her fantastic new hair color. Encourage her to continue being a great listener, an amazing cook and a great mom. Tell her that you admire her work ethic, her strength and her love of the Lord before you compliment her shoes!
I am seeing that the parts of my personality that make me who I am have not changed really either, but now I just see that they are not being used to mask pain any longer. God created me with a sense of humor and a witty, sarcastic side (that I sometimes need to apologize for), a fun loving, outgoing person who happens to like to look fashionable and put together most of the time. You see, the fashion, the outer beauty, even getting the laughs, are no longer my crutch because I've realized that none of this is about ME! It's about who HE is in me and that is 100% pure beauty that will last through the ages!
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